Tea is for Tuesdays

2.30pm

What a day it's been so far!

I woke up in a complete FUNK! Had a major leg cramp and jumped out of bed almost in tears to contain the pain that was threshing through my leg.
Exhausting, completely exhausting!
After I finally managed to get up, I felt drained and unmotivated.
Oil pull had to be done! And oooooh did time seam as if it were standing still!!

I really think is was the mass of garlic and smoking that just didn't sit well with me.  -Le sigh.

Finally getting my spark back, I got to work around 10.30am. Prepared for the day, I ran out of cigarettes.
Oh, I took no time to leave the store again and purchase those ,plus my meal for the day.
Watermelon slices, a banana , fruit but bar and some Acai juice.

Perfect! Ready to get to the next level!

3.30pm

Where was I?
Oh yes, I was reflecting  today's events.

12pm I had a GSA (Gay/Straight Alliance) meeting to attend at school. Fun as all meetings in school are, we got a couple of good things covered. These kids are so awesome and open with what they are, I love it! I almost feel as if straight individuals are much more intolerant of 'difference' then vice versa.
And I can completely relate to them much more. Being Asexual isn't hard. Accepting myself and living in the vessel of who I am. It's the majority of the population that has a problem with it. Wanting me to " test the waters". Or " maybe you just haven't found the right one for you". No. It's much more then that. It goes much deeper then being accepted and trying to "fit in". I have found that now that I have admitted to MYSELF of being nonsexual, I can finally find happiness.
 The biggest quest of my former chapters, that I was never able to reach.
Have I felt sexual in previous chapters? Sure. Or so I thought I was. Confused and conflicted with most outcomes of the interaction, I would just let the uneased feeling of not feeling, pass by and look at the brighter side of the spectrum: I was loved by someone that I had mutual feelings for.
I'm much more ME now, knowing what I want and what I long for. Being in a sexual relationship just isn't one of them.

4.24pm

Work has been typical today. Nothing going on and barely anyone coming in.
I HAVE in return been getting my status updated, commenting on friends status' and filling out the needed info to apply to a new job. This one is obviously not going anywhere and I'm burnt out trying to help them without having any resources.
All I am going to do is open and close, like a good employee and get class work and research done that I will be needing for school. Basta!

9.54pm

Watching "Extreme Cougars" and eating. This makes me feel oh so much better about myself!! (NOT!)
This is ludacris!

1.51 am

I'm back.
Have been hooked on TLC , since I switched over to "Extreme Cougars". After it was "Sisterhood" , then a repeat of "Extreme Cougars" and now "Totally T-Boz".
And all while feasting, researching and debating if what is happening right now is what I want to do right now. Confusing and pulling me in directions that will bring me back.
Focus.
That's what I need to do.
Listening to T-Boz sing "unpretty" unplugged, has me tearing up and reflecting on the past.
What I need to do is:
Leave the past where it is - in the past.

2.10am

It's time for my last glass of water and bed time.

Here is to:
Sweet dreams,
To battling the demons with the fire inside
And waking up with the energy, inspiration and strength to tackle a brand new day in this fairytale chapter.

Good night