Two day collaboration / Not much has been said

Yesterday:

5.01pm

Bored out of my mind and haven't even been able to take the time to write today.

So obviously nothing really hapend?

Yup! You are ABSOLUTLY right!

I've been eating all day and my stomach is still growling out of control!!!
Ugh!!
How am I ever to get behind how I must eat, when if I do eat, I'm still hungry after a super short period of time!!
Hmmm...
What I've eaten today:
A Shake consisting of almond/coconut milk, spirulana, chia seeds, maca, flax seed

1 banana

3 slices of watermelon

Fruit bar

3 rice cakes

The worst thing, I think it already went through me! ( i know TMI , sawy)

Aaaaaaa!!! I'm hungry and tired!! Definatly not a good look for me >_<

TODAY

12.54pm

Getting it together today!
Sunday is always pretty slow and due to me needing to get another job soon, I mind as well rest as long as I can. If the store says: Sun open 12pm-6pm, then that's when I'll be aiming to go in!! << well, those were my thoughts when I got up this morning. I did a pretty good job of taking it easy though.

Did my oil pull and vinegar cleanse, took a nice long shower with the addition of washing my hair and took my time picking out my outfit of the day. I'm in no rush today- what so ever.
Hit my one hitter a couple of times, and here I go!! Whoot!!

After getting into work, I felt a like wooohzy, so I prepped everything and went out to get the needed nourishment of the day

This should keep me a float!! ( current state: all smiles !)

Just got off the phone with my mom. Well that turned salty, quick ( current state: sad and bummed)
Yesterday we had said that we wanted to Skype, so I could see my prince. Today (as she just reported) , she has company and she also got in it with him, so she sent him in the shower to go to bed.
MY QUESTION is, if she knew she would have company, why didn't she just let him Skype me, let us catch up, or maybe even watch a movie together? I didn't get it !
Well, I'll talk to her about that tomorrow when we have another chance to talk.

8.03pm

I don't know what I would do without my sister. As much as I get frustrated of her action or non-actions, just plain in touch and deadlines. She has been with me forever. Through thick and thin. Though hard times and fun times. As many chapters as it will take to get myself straight, she can always make me happy. She is the one I would want to hold on to when I exhale my last breath. I grew through becoming a big sister and will always do so, until we both feel completely in sync again.

She makes me happy.

11.57pm

The madness has a never ending hold on me. I must change something.
I'm getting too comfortable.

Calling it an early night.

In my dream I will come up with a plan.

(Oh! I dreamt of eating roses last night!! - It JUST came back to me!! )

Sweet dreams to all xx

A twist on Friday gone wrong

9.20am

Getting it done!

Woke up with a chill an for the first time in 2 days without leg craps!! Yay!!

Oil pull -check
Vinegar cleanse - check
sipping on lemon water -check !!

I just turned my Pandora on to play some good tunes before I jump in the shower. What station I'm playing you might ask?
 Madonna!!! Whoot!!
First song : "Star light"
Oh, this is one good start!

Now off I go to complete the rest of the transformation.

Happy Friday!!

11.33am

Today i have a different attitude.
I got to work, in hopes my boss would have left the check for me to cash early and take of annoying bills I've been needing to pay.
Well, that never happened. Honestly, I'm not surprised. She'll probably come in, give me the check and ask what we are doing about the stores advertisement.
Quite funny.
I won't give it the effort I have given. I'm here and opening, standing here and hoping that we'll get business. And the last time I checked, that is all I'm paid for.

I'm over feeling as if being used (which I am)
... staying positive.

9.15pm

I haven't eaten much at all today and I feel Great! Yet, mentally -weak.

It was only suppose to be a little rice with an amazing mix of fresh veggies. Just enough to not get hungry later.

Portions prepared: ten fold!
As soon as food hit my stomach, I wanted to purge....
....Here we go

11.14pm

That was intense.
Theses binges are pulling more and more on me.

I felt the floor start to slip away- right before purging.

Scared -yes.
Shaken up about it- defiantly.
Reason for the episodes? - none.

Ugh...
... Le sigh.

I'm calling it a night soon. This one was draining.

(In my brain: I love life way too much to put myself through this! )

Happy Friday to the freaks that come out at night!! Party till the sun comes up!
Or
Sleep to heal your body and rest to gain the needed energy for the day that lays ahead.

Either way, fairies will be watching from the center of the rainbow <3 

Apiphobia - illustrating the phobia from a far

12.02pm

Woke up with another leg cramp and a horrendous back ache at around 8am. -le sigh

But after a good massage with Tigerbalm, I fell back asleep and woke up perkier. Or so I do believe.
Back still stiff, with a long day ahead. This should be FUN!!

After my oil pull and Vinegar cleanse, I have managed to put laundry in the wash, keep up with my FB status and brain storm on todays class and what I will be bringing to the table.

Currently I'm letting this face mask do wonders and gather my  thoughts before I make my way in the shower and get t his day started!!

Yuchu!! This shall be a good one!

10.42pm

Knowledge is epic power!!

2 classes and some good break time with school friends!!

Class one: Illustration

Wow! My prof. is awesome! I believe in myself much more now and do believe that I will accomplish my vision.
First project: fears and phobias .
My chosen phobia:
Apiphobia (fear of Bee's)
Ha!
This is going to be good!
A front cover if a magazine in ink and color application and a spread in hatching.

I was literally blown away of how clear everything appeared to me after this class and how I now see applicated art in my field of graphic design.
If I can nail this, then one step closer to being better then my competition!! Yay!!

Class 2: Campaign Advertising

This one is a bit more trickier. We are put in 3 groups of 5 and all of us have a job. Well, only 3 of us are actually doing something, but the 2 that are in this with me are awesome! I think that with all our insperation, ideas and creative knowledge, we will be able to leave an amazingly awesome impression on our judges.

In a quick summary, that has been my day.
A good one, that's certain!

I had also wanted to hang out with a couple of friends after class, but after a confusing and not energizing back and forth with one of my friends, I called it off.
I'm a) not going to force myself to go out and have fun, after a day like this, where all I want is to sit right here and write, reflect and enjoy the moments of reflection I am sharing with you ,
But also b) sometimes, when one wants one thing, the other is feeling this and that, the weather turns , then you are mostly better with just calling it a night and sitting right here, reflecting and sharing the day with you.

He, he.
I like how I just write that.
He he he

1.41am

Good job Mia!!
I actually had fun watching the Heat beat the Lakers.
Gooooood job!
I really don't care much for either teams, but watching The Heat take down The arrogant Lakers, priceless!

One good game and almost 2am later, I need to say good night.

Sweet dreams,

&

Let your day be experienced through the eyes of your rainbow.

In the end, the Exorcist was at play

6.41pm

wow, today's post is defiantly not going to be as informative as the recent days.

Yes, it's been that kind of day.
Super hektik and VERY productive.

Let me summ up todays reflection:

It started out with my boss needing me to open up the store, since she didn't know where she had her key.
Great!
Sure, let me just come in on MY DAY OFF and open the door for  you.. ugh. BUT whatever. That really didn't put much of a dent into my morning, other then me stressing out more then I probably should.

At school, the All Club Meeting was pretty informative and also seeing the faces of each club was a "good to know" feeling.
Yet so much ahead for us to do, with only a couple of weeks to accomplish all we set out to do.

After, I had a very intense talk with my mom concerning my sexuality and how she believes it's just a "phase" I'm going through, that I will get out of when I have found the right partner. Well, to all of her surprise, I will never find the RIGHT partner, since my prefrence is non-sexual.

And I must say I was stunned of how closed minded my mom is without even wanting to be. She has defiantly always been a supporter of my lifestyle and what I do to better myself, creating a world around  that will enlighten the world around me, with no hesitating that I am accepted.
I guess it's just difficult for my mom to understand that I will not fall in love and live happily ever after with the perfect partner in the perfect setting.

Yea, no.

I'll pass on that.

1.46am

Just got done watching the Heat beat the Worriers while feeding on split pea soup and so much more.
The Exorcist in play - too late to portrait the madness now feeling a slight insomnia rise from the horizon .
I
Must
Fight
The
Demon

Good night

Tomorrow a new page begins

Welcome to Vegan Blogger.com

Welcome to Vegan Blogger.com Awesome informative blog! take a look and leave feedback !

Tea is for Tuesdays

2.30pm

What a day it's been so far!

I woke up in a complete FUNK! Had a major leg cramp and jumped out of bed almost in tears to contain the pain that was threshing through my leg.
Exhausting, completely exhausting!
After I finally managed to get up, I felt drained and unmotivated.
Oil pull had to be done! And oooooh did time seam as if it were standing still!!

I really think is was the mass of garlic and smoking that just didn't sit well with me.  -Le sigh.

Finally getting my spark back, I got to work around 10.30am. Prepared for the day, I ran out of cigarettes.
Oh, I took no time to leave the store again and purchase those ,plus my meal for the day.
Watermelon slices, a banana , fruit but bar and some Acai juice.

Perfect! Ready to get to the next level!

3.30pm

Where was I?
Oh yes, I was reflecting  today's events.

12pm I had a GSA (Gay/Straight Alliance) meeting to attend at school. Fun as all meetings in school are, we got a couple of good things covered. These kids are so awesome and open with what they are, I love it! I almost feel as if straight individuals are much more intolerant of 'difference' then vice versa.
And I can completely relate to them much more. Being Asexual isn't hard. Accepting myself and living in the vessel of who I am. It's the majority of the population that has a problem with it. Wanting me to " test the waters". Or " maybe you just haven't found the right one for you". No. It's much more then that. It goes much deeper then being accepted and trying to "fit in". I have found that now that I have admitted to MYSELF of being nonsexual, I can finally find happiness.
 The biggest quest of my former chapters, that I was never able to reach.
Have I felt sexual in previous chapters? Sure. Or so I thought I was. Confused and conflicted with most outcomes of the interaction, I would just let the uneased feeling of not feeling, pass by and look at the brighter side of the spectrum: I was loved by someone that I had mutual feelings for.
I'm much more ME now, knowing what I want and what I long for. Being in a sexual relationship just isn't one of them.

4.24pm

Work has been typical today. Nothing going on and barely anyone coming in.
I HAVE in return been getting my status updated, commenting on friends status' and filling out the needed info to apply to a new job. This one is obviously not going anywhere and I'm burnt out trying to help them without having any resources.
All I am going to do is open and close, like a good employee and get class work and research done that I will be needing for school. Basta!

9.54pm

Watching "Extreme Cougars" and eating. This makes me feel oh so much better about myself!! (NOT!)
This is ludacris!

1.51 am

I'm back.
Have been hooked on TLC , since I switched over to "Extreme Cougars". After it was "Sisterhood" , then a repeat of "Extreme Cougars" and now "Totally T-Boz".
And all while feasting, researching and debating if what is happening right now is what I want to do right now. Confusing and pulling me in directions that will bring me back.
Focus.
That's what I need to do.
Listening to T-Boz sing "unpretty" unplugged, has me tearing up and reflecting on the past.
What I need to do is:
Leave the past where it is - in the past.

2.10am

It's time for my last glass of water and bed time.

Here is to:
Sweet dreams,
To battling the demons with the fire inside
And waking up with the energy, inspiration and strength to tackle a brand new day in this fairytale chapter.

Good night

Just like a Monday

2.03pm

Starting to write a bit later today.
Have had an eventful morning and haven't gotten around to sitting down and writing.

My morning started out pretty usual, although I still felt the whiplash from yesterday's anxiety, waking up unmotivated.
Did my oil pull, vinegar cleanse and lemon water.
I was surprise with receiving the paper samples in the mail today, which enhanced my day to be fantastic either way it goes.

By the time I got to work I felt extremly weak and needed food.
I got change for the store at the bank and on my way back, stopped by the grocery store to pick up fruit, a bottle of Acai juice and a fruit bar.
Eating Warermelon and the fruit bar as a late lunch around 12ish.

I had a chance to Skype my prince and mom for about an hour, while waiting for just a single customer to stop in and take a chance to perhaps find an accessory that would make my time standing here all worth while.

For now I'll try to keep myself occupied, all in company of my Smoothie consisting of Spirulana, Maca powder, Chia seeds, Acai juice and frozen berries. Yummm!

3.33pm

Still nothing happening in the store and I'm starting to get bored. Have so much for school that I would love to get done, but I'm missing need "umph!"
If nothing has not changed until 4ish, I will make a move towards something that will enlighten my day.
Fingers crossed that we get customers...
                                                                 ( or not, since now I have a plan ... )

9.52pm

Wow! Time flew by after I left work!

Lets reflect, shall we..

AD's and Society class started at 6pm. We watched a movie and wrote our thoughts down as an in-class activity.
Quite interesting how we all get manipulated into an unreal world, under unreal facts with unreal circumstances that only we alone, as individuals are responsible of. Just to be bigger and better then everyone else, rank higher then then norm in the social group you surround yourself with, to end up hoping to be remembered as someone great and die just like the rest of the world- alone.

Interesting, VERY interesting...

Really almost feels like a world I would shine like a star in, since in good at the study of humans the way I do. feeling out a different side only I can see.
But then that that would be like using black magic instead of white, while either or are bad.
Interesting...
I'll have to give that more thought.

10.00pm

But to continue on with reflecting, I ended up going to the grocery store, the one I was dreading going to yesterday, out of gear I would see the boy that have me a love letter about a week ago.
Ugh..
I really do feel bad. I don't like disappointing anyone. Especially if that has to do with the heart and thus emotions.
Ugh...
But I did go.
And I saw him.
I smiled and explained briefly that I am not one that can be with anyone and that I do think he is a kind person and I hope we will stay in touch way beyond him or I leaving the work location or the country.

So that was done. Another checked!

And then something very different happened. Two of my friends walked in and as happy as I felt like when seeing them, I felt caught. As if I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing.
My inner voice was speaking and I don't like the feeling of being caught. It's shameful and awkward, when all I need to do, is be good.
And then I won't feel caught.

12.27am 

wrapping it up. I'm going to head to bed a whip out a good book to start reading. ahhh, I'm going to go for my big book of Brother Grimm's Fairytales and refresh my past memories. ( after a couple of games of Scrabble *teh*)

Good night - I'll meet you by the lily pond at the beginning of the rainbow